Fishy Fishing Experts

Back in the states, I used to go fishing with my kid sister whose name is Mervat, but whom I call woodchuck.  We fished in a small pond in her apartment community with relatively crappy fishing poles that I think I bought for us at walmart.  Woodchuck was a fishing expert in that, despite the crappy equipment, she would still manage to catch fish. Well, if you can call them fish.  I have no idea what kind of fish they were, but there were a lot of them, and they were none of them especially large.  She caught a catfish once though, if that helps bolster her credibility.

Woodchuck:  Expert Fisherman

I was also an expert, but only at catching sticks and leaves.  Well, only because nobody ever claimed to be better at catching sticks and leaves.  Nothing like snatching mediocrity from the jaws of defeat, I used to teach the astronauts.  Or at least I would have, if they would have ever asked me.

Fahd:  Teaching astronauts through instructional photography

Other than the occasional alleged fish murder, mostly we just wound up feeding the fish tons and tons of stale bread.  I say alleged only in case some fish out there has internet and uses my blog as evidence.  But I think we all know who really murdered those fish.

Allegedly!

But we really did feed them a ton of bread.  Loaves of stale sliced white bread.  We tried other things like fishing lures haphazardly and with little success.  Possibly because some of the lures might have been bigger than the fishes themselves, but hey, dream big.  At least that's what I would tell the tiny microchip makers; if only they'd ask me.  But the bread, there would be multiple feeding frenzies every time we threw in a couple of slices at once.

And it led us to wonder, how in the world do fish know that bread is food?

Are there underwater bakeries down there that churn out baked delicacies, but in extremely small amounts, thereby always leaving the fish wanting?  Are the fish still following an outdated food group pyramid and have  realized they haven't been getting anywhere near their recommended daily allowance of whole grains?  Seriously, when is bread any part of a fish's world other than when a pair of jerks decide to drop by the pond with a loaf?

As a quick aside, we were certainly expert jerks, at least.  Sometimes, there would be turtles, but they were far too slow to get the bread.  Naturally, then, we'd throw bits of bread at their shells; mostly to make them paranoid that there was something fishy going on behind their backs.  

Anyway, my theory is that the fish are using an advanced system that involves the higgs field, the fourth dimension, and cations to figure out bread is food.  To test this theory, I will take some stale bread with me and throw it in the caribbean to see if pretty sea fish have the same method of determining that bread is food as ugly pond fish.

Because if they do, I'm probably going to have come up with an alibi for the great fish massacre of 2008.

The kids are dead because of sadness about the fish massacre