Idiocy Unflinching, Part 2

We were an especially attractive couple and I suppose that made a difference down there.

We didn't need an alarm clock anymore, or maybe I just didn't need it.  Of course I would pretend to be asleep sometimes when she first woke, but I don't know why exactly.  Maybe I was tricking time and space into letting me observe her when they thought I wasn't around.  It made sense when I was in bed, anyway.

Through my half closed eyes, she would noiselessly transform, from my naked playmate, into a world conquering professional woman.  Her clothes belonged to another era, a more modest, sillier time that sought to mask beauty with boredom, but she was still lovely to look at. When I would finally wake visibly, even in those early lightless hours, I don't remember it ever being disagreeable.  Probably it helped that I could lay in bed in that sublimely soft and cool dove-white comforter that I believe was her favorite of my meager possessions.

Eventually I would get up, throw on my baggy grey sweatpants and one of a million white undershirts (fashion maven), then head downstairs and out to where the cold bite was refreshing for me, but fitful for her car.  Likely she would be more comfortable if the heater was on for a bit too.  

The dawn light would wake up everything outside just as she finished up. Probably I came up from behind her, where my hands without my permission went straight to her boobs.  They were very much in love with her boobs - it wasn't my fault.  Sometimes she would show mild exasperation at her newfound immobility, and sometimes she went on as if I was simply another bit of clothing she had somehow put on. I just enjoyed being near her. 

But she would free herself shortly enough and I would brush my teeth as the sink was free.  With the last of her preparations addressed, we'd head down to her car.  I'd open the door for her and close it behind her.  She'd roll down her window and it was always her eyes that said thanks.  I kissed her properly and immodestly.  Her lips were soft and warm, glossed and smiling.  Then that happy little civic drove off with that happy gorgeous woman off into another new day.  

I'd stand there for a bit in the cold.  I can't fully explain why here either.  I remember there was some vague feeling of accomplishment that usually lingered.  Also some serene sense that possibly I could exist here after all.  Maybe.  

And then as the young sun painted around me with elongated reds and yellows, I would head back up to my lovely dove comforter.  The bother of the rest of the world could yet wait a few hours. 

I don't know if I've ever loved anyone properly, but some nights, I miss her inconsolably.